This Wall

    It has been kind of a while since I made something. As a creative, I feel my expression defines who i am, it is the escape of emotion that I feel so strongly about. The part of creativity that matters the most. Really though, what else is it?

    It seems the last few years , there has been a wall. A big part of it is the crippiling self critism. The thought that it isn't good enough, that I am not good enough. That everything I do is amature at best. I have the hardest time locking myself into a non stop moment of just painting. At some point, I get scarred.

    It hasn't been all for nothing though. I have learned a lot, and started working in software that I never thought I would be able to learn. So at the very best, my brain still works to some degree.

    Maybe I do take it to seriously, and I will often let up. In fact everyday I have to convice myself that it will be okay. That I will be able to do something, and I will be proud of it. So many wrong turns, but only one obvious path to realization.

Conceiving something in your mind is probablly one of the most amazing experiences a human can experience. The thought of spending a life time trying to actually conceive without ever doing so, is overwhelmingly crushing.

    Just in case I haven't expressed what is going on here........

    I am trying to make a video game

    I am trying to not be afraid

    I am trying everything I can to complete this art

    It went from one thing, to another, to another, and back again to the first.